Time

The sky was getting dark as we packed up our hotdog sticks, marshmallow bags and evidence of a good firepit evening with my little family. I enjoyed every part of our sitting on logs roasting good things and having great conversation, while in the back of my mind I was thinking, tomorrow is the boy’s birthday party and I have SO much to do. The longer we sat, the more I thought about the decorations, cleaning and wrapping that I still needed to do. After we came into the house, I entered mommy mode. “Boys! Brush your teeth and get to bed, stop playing! Put that nerf gun down, mommy has SO much to do!” When I finally tucked Oliver into the covers, he looked at me with His big eyes and asked if he could read, well I could not say no to that, so Little Critters narrated by Oliver it was. It seemed to take extra-long as he had to comment on every picture and tell me how funny each page was. I was losing patience and again, in the back of my mind I was thinking, I have so much to do before bed. Then George came along, he crawled next to Oliver and looked at me with his big eyes and said, “mom, after this will you read to us?” Then, in my greatest attempt of mommy pity I said, “BOYS, I have SO much to do, I have to wrap YOUR presents and decorate for YOUR birthday and it’s all for you, I do not have time to read!” George, in his calm voice said, “mom, I would rather you read to us then you do all that.”

I have been thinking a lot about what my son said since that evening. I have become more aware of missed moments and distracted thoughts. Do we tend to miss beautiful and lovely things all because of tricking ourselves in believing that there is just not enough time? What other beautiful and lovely things can I be missing because I’m too busy performing and not sitting? Or too busy planning my next ministry moment, and not sitting at my father’s feet reading to Him. Too distracted by the world and what it says to do, rather than what my God says to do. Do you ever feel this way? 

I like to believe I am a Mary in the bible story; the one who preferred to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to Him instead of preparing the meal for Him (Luke 10:38-42). In reality, I am both. I am a Mary at times and a Martha at other. But in this season, Martha has been much more of a familiar friend. After all the chaos of moving, helping people, helping our family, teaching our boys, making sure my husband is happy, the task of fixing up our home, and doing ministry, I feel I must do, do, do! It can seem while the world gets louder, the distractions of everyday life get louder with it. 

Can we stop life and task? no, can any of us? We must still do things and take care of our families and people around us, but if that takes over the sitting with Jesus and just spending time with Him, then our priorities need a little shifting. I believe with all my heart that our time is best used when it is used for Him and that includes our families. Mother Teresa said, “Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the action that we do. If you want to bring happiness to the whole world, go home and love your family.“

Distraction, pushing and pulling our every second is all around us, and today I feel inspired to push against that time and find the other side of distraction and busyness. Life is but a vapor in the wind, and if I spend my time blowing away with that wind, I will look back and find regrets. As we enter Easter month, I am inspired to find my way to a Mary heart again. I have decided, although not against, to take the month off of social media, from other voices and distractions. I want to love my family well and love God even more. To sit at His Jesus’ feet and think about His majesty and wonder. Whatever you may feel pulling and pushing you in different ways, realign your time, and find that there is always enough to sit at His feet and read more books to your children. 

And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because of our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. Romans 13:11