I haven’t written lately about motherhood since every time I sit to write, I feel completely unqualified to encourage anyone in their mothering. I mean, who am I to help inspire and encourage mothers on how this goes, when I’m still trying to figure it out! I find myself actually stepping out of many opportunities to encourage and teach because of this word, “qualified.” For one to be qualified means they must be recognized as being trained to perform a particular job; certified. After reading the definition, suddenly everything started to make sense, I am unqualified! I have NOT had training or been given any certificates in mothering. My fear of un-qualification simply was true.
As I sit and write how this word, “qualified” has kept me from doing many things, I realized something. If I haven’t had any training or fancy certificates in motherhood, who has? I know you can get a degree in counseling or psychology, but I have never met anyone who had a big plaque on the wall that says, “achievement award for perfect mothering. First Place!” I wish I could say when my boys grow old and move out of the house I could get one of those, but the truth is, none of us will ever be certified, qualified, or perfect at mothering our imperfect little humans. If we continue to do mothering with the feeling of being unqualified, what kind of moms does that make us? Defeated ones, tired ones, angry, confused, distant and worn ones.
The truth is, google says there is an estimated 2 billion mothers in the world, and we need encouragement. We need helpful ideas and tools to keep fighting the good race of motherhood. We need more unqualified people to help us know that we are not in this alone and through hardship and trials, worries about what our kids might do and where they might go, a little reminder and love is always well received.
When I had my first sweet boy, George, I cried a lot. I remember sitting on my couch when George was only a week old, and he wouldn’t stop crying or eating; I was exhausted. I started crying myself as my father-in-law sat next to me. He leaned over and looked at me over the rim of his glasses and said, “it will get better kid.” That was all I needed to hear that day. “You’re right,” I thought, “I will get sleep again, George will not cry forever and this moment of feeling worn will go away.” Gary didn’t say a grand thing to me that day and certainly didn’t have a qualification in motherhood, but 1 out of 2 billion mothers was extremely encouraged that day.
I will say that just as that encouragement kept me going in those first months of motherhood, as an unqualified, imperfect mother, I say to you today… Wherever you are in your parenting, it will get better if it’s hard, and if it’s going well, enjoy every second of those happy moments. Take time off your phones and work. Play with your kids no matter how old they are, it means so much to them. Snuggle them and make it a goal to make them belly laugh at least once a day. But, most importantly, stop feeling unqualified in your mothering, and go be the mama that God created you to be. I believe in you and so does He.
Emily Rodewald 