George

March 27, 2012, I became a mother. That day, George Rylan Rodewald entered my arms and forever my life has changed. Before I delivered my Georgie, many mommas told me that I would feel nothing but overwhelming love. This I did, but they did not inform me that there may be a moment, weeks or even months of sheer panic at the realization of my new identity. Crying was the first reaction I had when I held that sweet 8-pound 12-ounce baby boy in my arms. Emotions of love, joy, fear, awe, and wonder were all mixed into one big cry. In that moment, I felt that someone came up to me and placed a forever “mother” stamp across my forehead. This reality only continues to sink in as time passes because it is exactly how I view my own mom. Even though I am 35 years old, I still want my mom on those days I’m sick or tired. She is my mom forever and I am her daughter forever. When I held George, I knew that just as the infamous story goes, as long as I’m living my baby he’ll be. I knew that no matter his age, he will always want to know his mama is there for him, through thick and thin, through his marriage and babies of his own. I had to take a deep breath and remember, it’s mom forever and always, and although that comes with weight, nine years later, I don’t ever want to be called anything else….

My Georgie, where do I begin. You have captured my heart from that very moment you made your first glance at me. I’m apologizing now due to the fact that you are our first, which makes you the Guineapig and everything we now know as parents is because we tried all the wrong ways with you first. Nevertheless, you stand tall my boy, and you amaze me every single day. You are fascinated with how things work. I remember when Uncle Steve and Aunt Dawn bought you a little power wheel truck. You did not jump in and drive right away, instead you got on your little belly and looked under it to see how everything worked. You loved trains as a little boy and still do. You would run around the house mimicking the movement of the wheels and you continuously explore the little details of everything. You love Legos and build the most incredible creations. I have been amazed at what you build and how, from the time you were young, can make everything symmetrical and the place all the moving parts in working formation.

Georgie, so many parts of who you are remind me of your daddy. When you say something, I always know it is exactly the truth. You are a justice keeper, truth teller, and I know I drive you crazy by my changing of plans and ideas. You like schedule and routine, and changes are hard for you. One day after rearranging the furniture for the hundredth time, you came out of your room and shouted, “not again!” Ha! You are sentimental, and you remember who gave you every toy and stuffed animal and exactly when. If it is broken, it is still of great importance and you will find a way to talk me into keeping it.

My son, your heart for Jesus is pure and beautiful. I saved a prayer that you said when you were only five. “Jesus, bless the badness. If we sing about blessing the badness then we have goodness and turn the badness into the good news to be a good guy and to be blessed full.” These were your exact words, and I remember thinking how precious you were for thinking that there must be a simple way to get rid of the badness. 

You have been prophesied over my sweet boy and God told you two different times that you are called to be a leader. I told you after you got this word that this doesn’t mean 

you get to boss people around all day. A good leader, my George, puts others before themselves to lead by a good example. We are still working on this, but I am excited to see how God uses your leadership to further His kingdom purpose. God has also given you a word that you will have influence and that you will have an engineer mind for the church body. You are a precious child of God, and know that you are deeply loved in every way. You are our great joy and bring laughter to us all. May you know God all the days of your life and know that forever my baby you will be. I Love you. Happy Birthday, my son. 

Observe to do as the Lord your God has commanded you. You will walk in all the ways which He has commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you and that your days may be many. Deuteronomy 5:33