It’s All Your Fault

“Boys, open your bibles to Genesis Chapter 3,” I said at the dining table after a long day of homeschool. Honestly, I was disheartened by my boy’s ability to shift blame on someone or something for actions that were a fault of their own. A cycle that was continually repeating itself. Most often, it was brothers pointing blame at each-other, but if it wasn’t brothers’ fault, it was the bike’s fault for the crash, the bowling ball that was stupid, something was wrong with the guitar strings, the rules on the board game were illegal, and faults laid on every shoulder except the guilty. After reading Chapter 3 in Genesis, I asked them, “whose fault was it that the apple was eaten?” “Eve!” Quickly jumped off their lips without a pause. “Then, what about Adam?” I said, “did he eat it too?” “Yes, so he is to blame, too.” Then I asked one more question, “did they take responsibility for their own actions?” 

The man said, “The woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it” (Genesis 3:12).

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” (Genesis 3:13).

“No,” they just blamed someone else.”

Since our discussion, I’ve thought about the blame game that has been connected to our human nature since the fall of man. My goal with my boys was for them to understand the importance of taking ownership and accept personal mistakes, without having the need to blame. My goal was for them, but the outcome was also for me. I tell my children to work on blame and ownership, yet looking deep into my own nature, I see a root of pride that comes from our inability to fail well. Fear, shame, and doubt can have an outcome of blame to protect our own selves. My youngest especially hates to do something wrong, which most parents would think is a good thing, but to me I see my own fear of failure that leads me to blame and I realize, my fear of failing has fallen on my son. When God confronted Adam and Eve in the garden, I believe they blamed others because they didn’t want to disappoint God by their actions. In turn, this led them to cover themselves and blame others for their mistake. When our perfect ideals of our perfect selves fail us, we lash out in blame, in shame, and fear.

Moses blamed the people for smashing that rock instead of just speaking to it as God asked him to do (Deuteronomy 3:26). Aaron blamed the people for he himself putting gold into the fire to make an idol calf (Exodus 32:22-24). Saul disobeyed and did not destroy everything possessed by the Amalekites and blamed the other soldiers (1 Samuel 15:21). Mighty, great people of God making mistakes and afraid to take ownership of it all. Why? All for fear of failure, to let people down, and the root goes deep and deeper until we finally see, it is a root of pride. I see this in our culture today. We self-protect by not just blaming people, but we blame the weather on our bad attitudes, we blame our parents for any wrong behavior, we blame the Pastor for x-y-and z and everything under the sun. We blame our spouse, our friends, our family, we blame our kids for our own shortcomings, when truthfully we are tired, hungry, or having a hard day! Blaming is an easy button that weakens us in the end. Our true strength comes from responsibility of our own actions.  

“We are made in the likeness of God” (James 3:9). The same God who did not blame, but took and bore the blame for the sins of the whole world. He keeps no records of wrongs. He is not the accuser of the brethren, but the forgiver of the repentant heart. It is in our humility, it is in our flaws, that God has an opportunity to refine us and make us more like Him. It is in our ownership and repentance that God can change our failures into something beautiful and glorious, we just need to accept our imperfectness with our goal to always be more like Him.